Sept 29, 2020 — wow, yesterday was baaaaaaaaaad. Sunday was no picnic either. So add those 2 consecutive bad days together…and wow. A banged up start to the week. (Dealing with repercussions of some poor decisions by our teenaged sons…) Parenting woes. (I, myself, was a pretty easy kid, so whyyyyy?? LOL it’s called life.)
I digress…anyway on to my musings.
It’s absolutely fascinating to me how stress can immediately color your energy, decision-making, and entire demeanor. Sometimes it’s nothing serious, like not being able to find a particular pair of shoes (which is merely annoying), or other times it’s flat-out scary, like not immediately encountering your wallet in your purse when you have no recollection of having taken it out…yes, that happened to me once when I was in Boulder, CO, and yes, 2 hours out from having to head to the airport in Denver. Can you say a “crap-your-pants-immediately” moment?
(spoiler: I’d left it at Home Depot)
Try as you might, when you are IN THAT MOMENT, there is very little reasoning with yourself. The stress goggles are ON, tightly adhered to your face, and every emotion and action are all off-kilter, no matter what you try. Even breathing becomes a struggle. Your heart beats wildly. It’s a bit like when you’ve “all-of-a-sudden” had too much to drink…there you are, and you simply have to wait it out.
(spoiler: I’ve had too much drink a few times in the past. No bueno.)
But WOW it’s a MARVELOUS feeling when you get past such moments! You HAVE to look back and appreciate the new mood or you will MISS OUT on some good perspective.
Ride the wave. Ride the wave.
“Ryan, surely there are tools!?!” Oh yes. But you have to identify the tools when you are NOT in those moments (stress goggles are too powerful, remember?) and then you will have them in your tool belt for when you need them.
For me, it’s people. My village. I have to get OUT OF MY OWN HEAD and let others in. I need to feel that I’m not alone, I’m not the only one who has ever endured a particular pain or dilemma. I need to hear others reflecting how I feel and maybe a few options if I’m at the point where I can entertain options.
Yesterday, my village came to the rescue. I’m so lucky to have multiple groups of people who tolerate me and are amazing at giving support! I highly recommend investing your time and energy in a village or twelve.
(spoiler: yes, I’m an extrovert…but introverts need villages too)
What works for you when you are really inside the tornado of some hyper-stressful situation?
Even more importantly, what are the warning signals, the blaring horns that start up when you know big stress is on the way??
We have tools. We just need to identify and sharpen them in times of calm, so we can access them in times of utter distress.
I have a free Facebook group if you’d like to have a village online of people (women) who are just keeping it real, doing their best, taking it one day at a time in this challenging, wonderous world!