2020 and the holidays…time to reframe, people

Nov 17, 2020 | Ryan's Blog

Nov 17, 2020 — Yep. We are approaching the holidays and we are reading the facts: getting together is not advisable. Or even PERMITTED in some areas of the country.

And it’s something that could really break your heart if you let it. After all, the holidays with family can be a magical, wonderful, connecting kind of time.

But why let it? I implore you!

Just for shizz and giggles, let’s take a trip in the WAY-BACK Machine!

The year was 1999: I was pregnant with my first son, due in early January of 2000. And as a first-time mom, I obeyed my OB’s recommendation to not travel within 6 weeks of my due date, so that meant not even for Christmas!! I put my foot down and said we would NOT go to visit my family in NC (a half-day of plane travel), nor to visit my in-laws in Fort Worth, (a mere 3 hour drive!).

New moms are NOT to be trifled with. We are going to do what our prego-brains tell us.

That top…1999 Kohl’s maternity. Yikes.

Was that really almost 21 years ago? …mind boggling.

I don’t remember the specific details of how we spent that Christmas, just the 2 of us, on the cusp of becoming new parents, in our first real, actual we-own-it home, with our 2 dog fur-babies, but I do remember one thing VERY clearly:


It was a simple, no-frills holiday, with just enough tradition and not so much hassle. I was 9 months pregnant, remember?

And, further evidence of prego-brain: I went out until 3am on New Year’s Eve 2000 in HEELS.

NYE 2000!! Yes, I’m wearing HEELS!!

Mind you, I did not have Colin until January 12th, (LOL) so there would have been no drama of having him in far-away Fort Worth, far away from the nest we’d created in our new first home, but still. Like I said: New mamas are NOT to be reasoned with.

So, the lesson here is that the holidays during the pandemic will not resemble the typical harried, boisterous go-go-go holidays of literally every year before this one, but that doesn’t have to be negative. Honestly the holidays can be SO STRESSFUL with all the lists, parties, obligations, overburdened schedules, shopping, cooking, and all the trimmings.

Take a moment and think back to that feeling. And just be GRATEFUL that you are sound and safe, which I very much hope that you are.

Time for the promised re-frame…

Whip out that list of things you’d do INSTEAD of the mad packing, the travel arrangements, the travel itself, the traditional family drama and annual arguments, the details and hassles…that won’t be happening if you’re choosing to forgo the reunion for the holidays.

So, instead of stressing, what will you do instead? What activities and connection can you fill up these “UNPRECENTED” holidays with in lieu of the TYPICAL holiday freight train of years past? Hiking, snuggling, movies, baking, volunteering, connecting virtually, games, (ORGANIZING? hee hee, or is that just me??), Tik Tok, dance parties, reading…

What would fill your soul?


And take pictures!! (That family holiday calendar, you know…) (yes, the one I haven’t made in…5 years??)

And if “nothing” is what you’d rather do, then that’s cool too!! Plugging in to yourself is IMPORTANT. But don’t isolate, the holidays are typically depressing, and we have been told to stay as healthy as possible with the virus running around.

If we are lucky, smart, and tenacious as a globe, THIS will be the worst Nov-Dec and next year, we will have more options. Fingers crossed!!!

We are talking about all this in my fabulous, cozy, connection-filled free FaceBook group: The CALM Collaborative, so come on, gals!! Community and accountability can be yours, and likely you need some! We all do.

Ryan 🙂


My name is Ryan…

I love teaching people how to let go of the crazy and live a less stressful life. My book The CALM Method: A Guide to Ditch Last-Minute Living is full of guidance and tips for you, but the real magic is in our community. The Find FOCUS Membership is a great place to get more done alongside your peeps!!!

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