May 25, 2020 — This saying has so much deep wisdom that I doubt we even fully comprehend it. We hear it so often, usually associated with the weather, but it can be applied to many more situations. There is innate positivity and hope in this statement if you take a moment and read it, slowly and with intention.
If you don’t like [something], just be patient and wait a minute.
This past Saturday morning, I got out of bed, and as I stood and headed to the bathroom, I thought, “hmmm, my low back’s a little tight…” I didn’t think much more about it until about 30 minutes later when I went from “a little tight” to “full-blown debilitated on on the floor.” Yep: threw my back out…from what, may I ask? A good night’s sleep?? Sighhhhhhh. Ughhhhhhh!
If you’ve had your back go out, it’s so slowly-sudden and inexplicable that you do not see it coming until it’s too late. I don’t know about you, but my mind immediately goes to that place of “why didn’t I appreciate being pain free and mobile when I was?” Which is obviously silly and not at all helpful, but it’s a natural progression. Then, I move to thinking about all the things I CAN’T do when stuck in bad-back mode…anything from tennis to cleaning up “this horribly messy house” to being in any hope of a good mood. (a pre-apology apology: sorry, family members…you will take the brunt of this beast today!)
Then, the ugly DEPRESSION hits. Situational, yes, but no less powerful over you, your attitude and your hope. I went deep, FAST. After all, it was the Saturday of a 3-day weekend, and we were supposed to be packing to go AWAY to Horseshoe Bay and get the first change of scenery in MONTHS. And I was toast. I couldn’t even pack a single toothbrush without having to slink back to the bed. The physical-mental-physical-emotional pain loop was BRUTAL. There was crying, oh YES. There was messaging my mum with statements like “I hate everything” and “my life is a joke” and “so unhappy girl”. (I am an expert at “woe is me…”)
Pain takes over your whole life when it gets the chance. You CANNOT envision feeling well enough to do anything normal again. It is so REAL in that moment.
After moaning and groaning and lots of ice and ibuprofen, my hubby gently suggested, “Hon, do you want to do something different? Change clothes? Take a bath?” I know he was thinking, “What do I do with this heap formerly known as my wife?” Bless his heart, he started picking up our room and getting the kids to get packing.
I HATE being kept down, people. It is the most challenging thing for me. I am very go-go-go and when my body says, “NOPE, not today!” I do not receive that message well. I fixate on all that I “need” to be doing. And even worse, I bludgen myself with, “well you SHOULD HAVE already…[packed/grocery-shopped/planned/etc etc] and then you wouldn’t be in this predicament, you loser” (is this TMI?) It’s the TRUTH.
The Head Trash Monster sure loves someone in pain! It’s the “low-hanging fruit” for him. After all, I had already done half of his job for him. Uggggghhhhhhh.
God love ’em, my family rallied and got us out the door. Coolers, clothes, sunscreen, even the BIKES! And I managed to pack my toothbrush…but I almost forgot my swimsuit. Michelle Obama’s book in hand, off we went.
I’m telling you, a change of scenery is magical, even if you only intend to sit and read.
After a rough, slow-gaited day of much ibuprofen and rest, I woke up Sunday feeling so much better! What a difference both mentally AND physically! I know that I must still be careful…one can’t go from incapacitated on the FLOOR 24 hrs earlier to Dancing with the Stars, but wow, what a gift to feel so improved!!
If you don’t like how you feel right now, wait a minute.
And give yourself a freaking break, will you??
PS As always, with full sincerity, THANK YOU for reading this soul-hemorrhage of a blog.