June 5, 2020 —
Remember how slow March was? And April too? Why does it feel like May was fast and June is going at breakneck speed already?
Remember January? And February?
2020 has felt like 10 years in only 6 months. The layers of global stressors are here on broad display.
The layers of historical wrongs are right here, with the scabs ripped off and blood everywhere.
The constant questioning of self as to “how do I do better?” is there.
If ever there were a time to cast off what’s NOT important, it’s now, so we can allow our eyes to open.
Frankly, I’m so overwhelmed by this week’s news I’m almost paralyzed.
Simultaneously, I’m transfixed and inspired by the voices and colors that flood my feed.
However, I am still unsure how to proceed. As a heart-led person, I am feeling ALL the feels. It’s my way and I celebrate how “in touch” I can be with the energy of the world. But oh, how I wish I could turn it off sometimes, or at least turn it way down, and then be more able to use my intellect towards the situation.
Have you noticed the new kind of shaming? White people shaming others for “not being sensitive ENOUGH”. Or “thinking that posting a black square in your feed is actually doing something” or “trying to act like they care but it’s all for show.”
Oh, people!! How do we miss the point OVER AND OVER AND OVER???
There is no instruction manual for life, especially 2020, but adding more back-biting to the situation is only gas-lighting the already raging dumpster fire.
Social media is fanning some of the wrong flames, unfortunately.
My son DELETED Instagram the other day because he said that everyone was “annoying.” (Gen Z’s favorite word) I pressed him to elaborate, and he basically felt that he was tired of everyone “showing off” how hard they were trying to not be racist. I found this fascinating yet troublesome. I told him that we, as humanity, are so thrown off now that NO ONE has the answers, and we tend to jump in just to try to do something. Something. Anything that makes us feel and think we are contributing.
(I wonder if this necessary outrage over George Floyd’s death had happened at exactly this time last year, NOT immediately following 2 MONTHS of intense global pandemic news and stress and the ruin of the economy, maybe there would be a few different things going on…less violent, and more discussion about institutional change? Wishful thinking?)
Have you taken a hot second to look up from your phone and look around you, literally with your eyes? What color of people do you see? What about examining your treatment of ACTUAL INDIVIDUAL PEOPLE? In the flesh, in daily life?
I haven’t signed any petitions, (but I have donated to a cause), I haven’t gone downtown to physically walk in demonstration, (but I have purchased books and subscribed to new people for education), I haven’t re-posted memes in my feed, (but I have had numerous deep conversations with different people).
But aside from all that, honestly, the ONE THING I’ve been seeking to do that, to me, in my heart, makes the MOST difference on a daily, hourly basis is…
I’ve been inviting the opportunity to spread smiles, greetings, and kind words directly into the faces I see, ESPECIALLY beautiful faces of color. Amazon and Instacart delivery guy, post office worker, numerous people on the hike and bike trail, my friend and fellow dance moms, and guess what?
It’s SO NOT EASY but I welcome being the one who’s uncomfortable for a change. That is the TRUTH. That is how I grow.
We must reformulate many things. When something is broken this badly, you have to knock the whole thing down and start over. We are a long way from throw pillows…the foundation is crumbling. And killing people in the process.
HOW? That is the very difficult question.
