Is this a flimsy wick day? Hang on…

Apr 5, 2021 | Ryan's Blog

April 5, 2021 — What a fantastic weekend!!! After a more than year-long hiatus, we were able to see and HUG some family!!! It was amazing. I hope to NEVER take family time for granted again. (Planning a trip east soon!)

On our way home, I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts: The One Thing. This particular episode was with NY Times best-selling author Luvvie Ajayi (highly recommend btw) and she said something near the end of the episode that totally STUCK IN MY BRAIN.

Have a relentless belief in yourself.

I LOVE THIS. It complements so many of my favorite messages that I like to share with basically anyone that will listen. When you have a relentless belief in yourself, you can practice the “re-start” and that every day is a fresh new chance to take another stab at life. Ok, maybe “stab” isn’t a great word LOL, but you know what I mean.

We fall down. We make mistakes. It’s inevitable. We start over. Again and again.

If our foundation is an unshakable, cast-in-cement belief that we can begin again, over and over, WITHOUT JUDGEMENT, then we are WINNING, people.

I’m reminded of those historic re-enactment places that demonstrate (or even let you participate in) hand-dipping wax taper candles. Remember those? When you start, you’re holding nothing but a skinny, floppy, weak-looking wick. But then you dip it in the wax, over and over, and in micro-increments, it turns into a solid candle that stands up all by itself, and then can be lit and shine bright for hours and hours!


Think about something you are trying to learn, or improve in your life. If you bring yourself as a floppy wick and jump into the wax over and over, you WILL BECOME STRONG like a candle. But the trick is that you have to keep jumping in there, even when you feel like a weak little string.

Speaking of a weak little string…last Friday I set up to do a “little workout.” No biggie, just get a little movement in, right? Oh, no, not today. I found that every joint of my body was feeling like a million years old. I even tweaked my knee a few minutes in, doing nothing particularly fancy. Sheesh.

OMG. This was not a “tough workout” (in my head) nor should I be struggling during said workout.

Can you guess how many (not nice) emotions were running around in my body? Like all of them.
You’re weak sauce.
You used to be able to murder a workout like this.
You’ve let yourself go.
You’re so…(brace yourself)…OLD.


All those things! Mean, ugly thoughts tearing me down.

So, I said, “creaky back and tweaky knee, you’re NOT getting in my way. We are going to finish this workout. We are going to only do the parts that don’t hurt. We are not giving up. We are NOT the spry little young thing we used to be, but we ARE still awesome.”

I showed up. I didn’t quit. I finished, perfectly imperfectly.

Yes, my knee was a bit upset with me for the rest of the day.
Yes, I felt sorry for myself most of the day. (I pouted on Facebook, too, which allowed others to come love on me…#lifehack)
Yes, I’m not as young as I used to be. But…

I have a RELENTLESS belief in myself.

It’s not really a choice. It’s ESSENTIAL. Essential because I want to be strong, smart, and active for say…50 more years, please!

I’m just getting started, y’all. I still have SO MUCH in the hopper!!

So, here’s my message. When things go off the rails, when you fall down, when you are in that “weak sauce” mode, give yourself the BEAUTIFUL GIFT of starting again, without limitations or judgements. Visualize yourself in third person, as if you’re encouraging your friend, sister or child. You’d never give up on them!

Never ever everrrrrr give up on yourself.

You are just getting started!!!

And hey, you inspire me, did you know that? I need you out there standing back up, owning the lessons, and dipping yourself in that wax over and over, building slowly, layer by layer, until you are a strong, fierce candle…ready to be lit!!

Think of how brightly you can shine, and bring light to where there was once only darkness.

Candles are amazing. (Remember that YOU are that candle!)

Also, remember that everyone has those flimsy wick days, but there’s a strong candle day right after it!

Thanks for reading:)

Ryan 🙂


My name is Ryan…

I love teaching people how to let go of the crazy and live a less stressful life. My book The CALM Method: A Guide to Ditch Last-Minute Living is full of guidance and tips for you, but the real magic is in our community. The Find FOCUS Membership is a great place to get more done alongside your peeps!!!

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