LET GO OF OLD SH*T (brutally honest post alert)

Apr 23, 2020 | Ryan's Blog

April 23, 2020 — Growth. Maybe it’s “Earth Day Energy” lingering on me, but I feel this undeniable desire to let go of stuff that does NOT matter anymore, (if it even ever really did) and opening up for fresh, renewed growth.

Take a deep breath, or three.

Did you? If not, do it.

(OK, freshly oxygenated blood flowing now…)

Can you picture a person you love, but are not currently connected with because of some issue or incident that separated you? Can you picture someone you love that if all of a sudden they were sick or unreachable, you would feel some measure of regret for that time spent in separation?

Sometimes separation can be useful, essential: a time for reflection and analysis. Looking at a situation from the outside is always more illuminating than when you are in the thick of it. Separating is often critical for a period of time, but then, for healing to occur, you must return to the person and grow from the experience. Neither party is to shoulder blame nor re-enter the relationship as less than whole. They must meet in the middle, but on a new level, letting go of whatever separated them in the first place.

Then, and only then, the relationship is ripe with opportunity for new growth and strengthening of the bond.

I would bet, too, that you can picture someone you love that you are currently in some contact with, but there are valid issues that strain the relationship. In light of this New Normal, where we are looking at a new, altered way of living, is there some painful piece of that past or recurring hurt that you could consider letting go? Or, even better, could you consider broaching the topic in an open and honest conversation to address that sore spot that might open up some healing and then growth? Just ponder it and see what comes up for you.

Casual, surface relationships can be plentiful and numerous because you can seek out new ones regularly. But deep, long-standing ones are few in number, and if you let them go or be abused, you will lose them.

I can think of someone right now that I intend to reach out to and attempt to bridge the gap. It has been on my mind for almost 5 months now.

Did I say it would be easy? Hell, no. Life is about doing hard things. Risk. When you risk, you are putting yourself out there. That’s uncomfortable. What if you are rejected?

Worse: what if you never even tried? To me, that’s more uncomfortable.

I know you could, RIGHT NOW, make a list of accomplishments in your life for which you had to risk something, and do hard things for, but ultimately brought a high payoff for you. That’s the hard thing about hard things. High risk, high payoff.

Worth it, every time.

But certainly, you can just be “fine”. You can let things lie. But would it really be “fine”?

It’s true that time can help heal old hurt, like losing a beloved dog. But with relationships, there must be two things: forgiveness of SELF, and forgiveness of OTHERS.

It’s completely up to you, but guess what?


Cheers! –ryan:)

PS Thanks for entering into this vulnerable space with me today. It means so much that you read it.

Ryan 🙂


My name is Ryan…

I love teaching people how to let go of the crazy and live a less stressful life. My book The CALM Method: A Guide to Ditch Last-Minute Living is full of guidance and tips for you, but the real magic is in our community. The Find FOCUS Membership is a great place to get more done alongside your peeps!!!

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