Observe your own sunset

May 12, 2020 | Uncategorized

May 12, 2020 — Do you have any clue what a mess I was yesterday?? It was Monday, and normally I am raring to go! I love a fresh week! The possibilities, the expanse of 5 days to get-shizz-done, all that awesome energy is usually what a Monday is for me. I love Mondays, and that is the truth.

NOT yesterday. I was an aimless dust bowl of uselessness. Plus, on Saturday I injured something in my shoulder area doing nothing spectacular…grrr! So it was a recipe for trouble.

I know I have referenced Jessica Butts’ work on the regular, and I will again now…her brilliant description of what I was feeling is this: in my BACK SEAT.

Oh, you know your BACK SEAT all too well, don’t you? Before I knew a good term for it, (thanks, Jessica!) I would just say to myself, “What’s wrong with you?? Just get over it, stop being such a mess!” I bet you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Maybe you call it “having a hormonal day” or something similar. Yes, there are definitely truths to that cyclical energy, but sometimes it’s not necessarily hormones. It’s just your Head Trash Monster having its Front Seat Field Day in your brain! It’s all dressed up in its HTM finery, wielding all its biggest sticks that keep you down and small and confused. Not fun at all.

Why, Head Trash Monster, why?? Back seat days suck! It totally feels like we’re pissing away precious time back there.

Alas, how can we reframe this phenomenon? How can we turn it into a positive?

Think of a time when something was going really wrong and the ONLY way out of it was to get SMART, CREATIVE, and/or flat-out INGENIUS. Bad shizz was going to go down if you didn’t put on your big-girl pants and FIX IT.

So you DID. And yay you!! YOU did that.

When you’re in your back seat, you must figure out how to work through it. Only YOU know the things you must do…or if you don’t yet, you must figure out that list for yourself. Because Back Seat Days happen. It’s inevitable.

But guess what?? Great news!!

Back Seat Days are FILLED with information and lessons. When you have to sit with it, get creative, get DEEP and REAL, you get through it. YOU get YOURSELF through it. And then, when you’re back in that beautiful, amazing Front Seat…ahhhhhhhh! So good.

The challenge is to NOTICE our Front Seats as much as our Back Seats.

Your Front Seat is when you’re in flow, doing your THING! Remember beach balls from a few blog posts ago? Notice your beach balls! You get to play with those when you’re in your Front Seat. And that is fun!!

That Back Seat is all about boulders. But, I remind you, those boulders are your lessons. They create obstacles for us that we must figure out. Thank you, boulders! I am a better, stronger person for them. I don’t LIKE them, of course…I’m not crazy! (debatable…LOL)

So today, I am writing to you from my Front Seat again. I am beyond grateful to feel this way today, and I am NOTICING. I think our Front Seat is like a gorgeous sunset…it’s going to happen whether we are out there taking it in or not. It’s so much better if we STOP for a few minutes, observe the breathtaking big beauty of it, and bask wit gratitude in that overwhelming power of Mother Nature.

I have a friend on Instagram that ALWAYS ALWAYS gets phenomenal sky and sunset pictures and I appreciate it so much. She doesn’t live too far from me, so it’s like my own personal highlight reel from a sky that I’m also seeing. She totally had my back the other day when she got some knock-your-socks-off pics of the full moonrise because I had missed it! ACK! Sidebar over now…

So, I am begging you: PLEASE notice your Front Seat. The goal is to spend at least 80% of your time there. The feelings you feel in your Back Seat give you fuel to propel you back to that precious Front Seat. It will take time, but it is work well worth it.

Cheers! –ryan:)

PS Thanks so much for reading!! Unintended shout out here, but if you want to get more guidance on your front and back seats, check out Jessica’s Live Unapologetically course. It is life-changing, and I don’t say that lightly! She has written all the books as well, but if you like a course, then check it out. AND, if you do sign up, then DO THE WORK. 🙂 (and tell her I sent you!)

Ryan 🙂


My name is Ryan…

I love teaching people how to let go of the crazy and live a less stressful life. My book The CALM Method: A Guide to Ditch Last-Minute Living is full of guidance and tips for you, but the real magic is in our community. The Find FOCUS Membership is a great place to get more done alongside your peeps!!!

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