Feb 1st, 2020 – First of all, a quick HBD shoutout to my little brother, Matt, who turns 46 this week…I love you, bro!! Now on to the topic at hand.

If you’ve bought and/or read my book, thank you!! #theCALMMethod is here for you…and this week in Lunch Bunch Live in my free FB group “the CALM Collaborative” we are taking on Step 3: “Lay out your Launch Pad”!

How crazy coincidental that THIS WEEK is when I’m talking about the Launch Pad in LBL and I myself will be relying on a SOLID Launch Pad myself this week or I’ll suffer the consequences!! Real life, people.

Oh, dear friends who have ever taken a child, or more than one, to the DMV/DOT/the driver’s license office: this is not for the faint of heart.

FYI if you have a newborn, you are qualified (and encouraged!) to start gathering the required documents to take him/her to get his/her license. I’m not even kidding. Start a slash pocket in your Sunday Basket(tm) today.

If you’re going on a trip, especially abroad, (oh, wistful thoughts of travel…) you don’t wait until you’re almost ready to pack before gathering passports, etc, do you??? Well, if you do, then we know how that’s going to go, and “CALM” is not the word that comes to mind, is it?

I LITERALLY have PTSD from going to “that place” that is required in order to get my children to be licensed drivers. The last 2 children I took, looking back, I wonder how in the HELL did I get all that stuff together? My files and desk were a hot mess and I’d never even HEARD of a Sunday Basket System(tm)!!

Well the funny-not-funny thing is, that I didn’t have it all together at first, or even second! And oh, I suffered! Badly! And my poor kids, sitting next to their mom who’s head was literally detaching from her body, being that she was constantly behind the eight ball. Always teetering on the edge of “I don’t have time or energy to succeed at this!” (I mean, you’ve GOTTA read my book)

It’s like the “Soup N@zi” where if you don’t have literally everything you need, right then, with all your ducks exactly in a row, then you spent precious time waiting for that slap on the wrist, then, lucky you! there’s another waiting period to be able to try again. Good times, I tell you.

I hate it.

The incessant dinging bilingual announcements. OMG imagine trying to get documents and it’s not even your native language!!!

I imagine there are amazing YouTube videos on how to glide through getting your kids through the process…but you still have to gather all those THINGS: (NOTE: this is a comic take on the list, not the actual list, ok???)

-vital documents like birth certif, SS card, passport (understandable)
-oddly vital documents like “proof of residence” and a list of all your domestic pets
-vital car documents like proof of insurance, car title and detailed maintenance records since purchase
-and who invented the “super secret” documents like the VOE (it’s expires, y’all!) and various certificates of completion of very specific, secret programs (which also expire, serenity now!)
-your meal plan for the week, preferably with grocery lists attached and highlighted

-method of payment…hallelujah an easy one!!

My god, y’all…it’s the WORST.

I have to take my youngest this Friday. We have started gathering the documents.

I’m already sweaty and clammy.

I don’t take meds currently, but I’m entertaining it.

Our appointment is at 8:30am on Friday. (Is that too early to start drinking?)

And the permit is the first step towards the BIG APPT.

The driving test.

I just fainted. Please just kill me now!

Between my first two sons, we have THREE failed tests before they passed.

I’m not even kidding.

I cried. I have cried in the building. I have cried in the car.

I kicked things.

I cursed the system.

Oops, I’m supposed to be a good example. Too late.

Bless their scarred little hearts. (at least they have so much to share with their therapists?!)

Y’all, already I couldn’t lay my hands on the title for the Ford Fusion.

I HAVE A CARS BINDER. Every other car title is in there.

It’s a given. The squeeze finds you. It’s professional at its job.

Oh, please, can I be CALM, have CALM, and not freak out in the DMV?

YES. YES I CAN.

God, I hope so. Encouraging words accepted and appreciated!

Anyway, to wrap it up I have a little poem for you…FYI I’m not a poet at all.

Ode to the Launch Pad: “You complete me”

Oh, Launch Pad, how you KNOW me and save me from myself
Oh, LP, how you create CALM where there used to be CHAOS
Oh, LP, how you take care of me even as I sleep!
Oh, LP, how you love me anyway and never give up on me
Oh, LP, how you show those around me how simple yet powerful you are
Oh, LP, how you want me to succeed!
Oh, LP, how you activate my brain to be thinking ahead, always
Oh, LP, how you adapt to meet every situation, BIG or small
Oh, LP, how you teach me to re-set and pre-prep like a BOSS

The squeeze. The stress goggles. That awful feeling of “I could have avoided this if I’d only started sooner!” All of that sucks.

The Launch Pad hates for you to be stressed out.
The Launch Pad lives for you to succeed.
The Launch Pad lives for your kids to succeed.
The Launch Pad is LIFE.
The Launch Pad makes life so much better, and so easily!